In need of a laugh?
Moderator: moderators
-
- Enlightened
- Posts: 772
- Joined: January 26th, 2011, 2:39 pm
Re: In need of a laugh?
http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK
Bit like the Haribo one......................................
Bit like the Haribo one......................................
Re: In need of a laugh?
Brilliant - I just find these hialrious. There is some very funny writing in these - I assume this is a new art of writing Amazon reviewstigerburnie wrote:http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK
Bit like the Haribo one......................................
Ali wrote: Excellent product. Most prisoners confessed within five minutes of the first application. Can recommend
I like your right leg. A lovely leg for the role.
I've got nothing against your right leg.
The trouble is ... neither have you
I've got nothing against your right leg.
The trouble is ... neither have you
Re: In need of a laugh?
You should read the other stuff he posts as well. Brilliant.Slipper1 wrote:I laughed and laughed over this - real or not, it cheered me up.
http://www.27bslash6.com/missy.html
Read the email correspondance...
"That was shiterarse coaches need to look at themselves this is as bad at is.beem with school. Items impeovrnkyb neefedc"
Golf Man sums up the mood of a nation
Golf Man sums up the mood of a nation
-
- Enlightened
- Posts: 772
- Joined: January 26th, 2011, 2:39 pm
Re: In need of a laugh?
THIS ABSOLUTELY DESERVED AN "A"
>
> This is straight from Scotland. Students in an advanced Biology class were
> taking their mid-term exam.
>
> The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk. The question
> was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put
> to think of seven advantages. However, he wrote:
>
> 1) It is perfect formula for the child.
>
> 2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
>
> 3) It is always the right temperature.
>
> 4) It is inexpensive.
>
> 5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
>
> 6) It is always available as needed.
>
>
>
> And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the
> bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
>
> 7 ) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the
> ground where the cat can't get it.
>
>
> He got an A.
Nicked from UAFC( I'll take anything that's not nailed down.......)
>
> This is straight from Scotland. Students in an advanced Biology class were
> taking their mid-term exam.
>
> The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk. The question
> was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put
> to think of seven advantages. However, he wrote:
>
> 1) It is perfect formula for the child.
>
> 2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
>
> 3) It is always the right temperature.
>
> 4) It is inexpensive.
>
> 5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
>
> 6) It is always available as needed.
>
>
>
> And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the
> bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
>
> 7 ) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the
> ground where the cat can't get it.
>
>
> He got an A.
Nicked from UAFC( I'll take anything that's not nailed down.......)
- Peg Leg
- Rob Kearney
- Posts: 9823
- Joined: February 1st, 2010, 5:08 pm
- Location: Procrastinasia
- Contact:
Re: In need of a laugh?
Great album tootigerburnie wrote:THIS ABSOLUTELY DESERVED AN "A"
>
> This is straight from Scotland. Students in an advanced Biology class were
> taking their mid-term exam.
>
> The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk. The question
> was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put
> to think of seven advantages. However, he wrote:
>
> 1) It is perfect formula for the child.
>
> 2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
>
> 3) It is always the right temperature.
>
> 4) It is inexpensive.
>
> 5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
>
> 6) It is always available as needed.
>
>
>
> And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the
> bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
>
> 7 ) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the
> ground where the cat can't get it.
>
>
> He got an A.
Nicked from UAFC( I'll take anything that's not nailed down.......)
"It was Mrs O'Leary's cow"
Daniel Sullivan
Daniel Sullivan
- Lamb of BOD
- Enlightened
- Posts: 809
- Joined: June 27th, 2012, 3:46 pm
- Location: Caught Somewhere In Time
Re: In need of a laugh?
Like everything, though, you have to know when to stop
-
- Enlightened
- Posts: 772
- Joined: January 26th, 2011, 2:39 pm
-
- Enlightened
- Posts: 772
- Joined: January 26th, 2011, 2:39 pm
Re: In need of a laugh?
When I was young I decided to go to medical school. At an entrance exam, we were asked to rearrange the letters PNEIS and form the name of the most important human body part which was most useful when erect
Those who answered SPINE are doctors today, while the rest are on FACEBOOK.
Those who answered SPINE are doctors today, while the rest are on FACEBOOK.
Re: In need of a laugh?
You know I'm going to lose,
And gambling's for fools,
But that's the way I like it baby, I don't want to live FOREVER!
And gambling's for fools,
But that's the way I like it baby, I don't want to live FOREVER!
-
- Enlightened
- Posts: 772
- Joined: January 26th, 2011, 2:39 pm
Re: In need of a laugh?
A guy goes into U.S. Postal Service to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"
He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."
"Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?"
"Yes," he says, "I was in Afghanistan for one tour."
The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."
The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and you might as well plan on starting at 10:00 AM every Day."
The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM, why don't you want me here until 10?"
"This is a government job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."
He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."
"Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?"
"Yes," he says, "I was in Afghanistan for one tour."
The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."
The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and you might as well plan on starting at 10:00 AM every Day."
The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM, why don't you want me here until 10?"
"This is a government job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."
-
- Enlightened
- Posts: 772
- Joined: January 26th, 2011, 2:39 pm
Re: In need of a laugh?
From a teacher -- short and to the point
In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and more
people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the art
of capital letters.
For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of
the following statement:
"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack
off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse."
Is everybody clear on that?
In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and more
people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the art
of capital letters.
For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of
the following statement:
"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack
off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse."
Is everybody clear on that?
-
- Enlightened
- Posts: 772
- Joined: January 26th, 2011, 2:39 pm
- TerenureJim
- Shane Jennings
- Posts: 5316
- Joined: May 5th, 2009, 10:09 am
Re: In need of a laugh?
The list of winners at the MTV "European(?) Music" Awards ha
Full list of winners:
Best Song
Bruno Mars – Locked Out Of Heaven
Best Video
Miley Cyrus – Wrecking Ball
Best New
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
Best Female
Katy Perry
Best Male
Justin Bieber
Best Pop
One Direction
Best Live
Beyoncé
Best Hip Hop
Eminem
Best Rock
Green Day
Best Electronic
Avicii
Best Alternative
Thirty Seconds To Mars
Best Look
Harry Styles
Biggest Fans
Tokio Hotel
Best World Stage
Linkin Park – Mexico 2012
Best Push
Austin Mahone – April 2013
Best Worldwide Act
Chris Lee
Global Icon
Eminem
Full list of winners:
Best Song
Bruno Mars – Locked Out Of Heaven
Best Video
Miley Cyrus – Wrecking Ball
Best New
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
Best Female
Katy Perry
Best Male
Justin Bieber
Best Pop
One Direction
Best Live
Beyoncé
Best Hip Hop
Eminem
Best Rock
Green Day
Best Electronic
Avicii
Best Alternative
Thirty Seconds To Mars
Best Look
Harry Styles
Biggest Fans
Tokio Hotel
Best World Stage
Linkin Park – Mexico 2012
Best Push
Austin Mahone – April 2013
Best Worldwide Act
Chris Lee
Global Icon
Eminem
Re: In need of a laugh?
Sorry, but it's the MTV Europe Music Awards. The awards of MTV Europe, not the awards for Europe's music.TerenureJim wrote:The list of winners at the MTV "European(?) Music" Awards ha
Full list of winners:
...
Heavy words are so lightly thrown
Re: In need of a laugh?
This is hilarious in its own right. Wrecking Ball is a brilliant song with a half-arsed attempt at a porno for a video, while Locked Out Of Heaven sounds like someone ran Postman Pat's cat Jess through a jet engine.TerenureJim wrote: Best Song
Bruno Mars – Locked Out Of Heaven
Best Video
Miley Cyrus – Wrecking Ball
johng wrote:Classic bit of Sidness there.
- Peg Leg
- Rob Kearney
- Posts: 9823
- Joined: February 1st, 2010, 5:08 pm
- Location: Procrastinasia
- Contact:
Re: In need of a laugh?
An old'n, but a good'n
http://youtu.be/CIaWo-BlBjs
http://youtu.be/CIaWo-BlBjs
"It was Mrs O'Leary's cow"
Daniel Sullivan
Daniel Sullivan
Re: In need of a laugh?
Dont normally go in for posting series of videos on Youtube these are great.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRBoPveyETc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hcmz74AaXHs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTix7FDHZcA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrjp6e04dZ8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zu5Oo23G67w
Look out for the Justin Bieber one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRBoPveyETc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hcmz74AaXHs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTix7FDHZcA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrjp6e04dZ8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zu5Oo23G67w
Look out for the Justin Bieber one.
Treat life like a dog: If you can't eat it, play with it, or hump it, p1$$ on it and walk away!
Re: In need of a laugh?
Only discovered these the other day, absolute genius!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxrWuE5qC5c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJXLyUoz2M4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxrWuE5qC5c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJXLyUoz2M4