Best Man

[elephantman]

I'm going to be Best Man at a wedding for a friend in July.

Any advice on how much cash I should give as a present?

Thanks in advance.

[Peg Leg]

Ten billion euro

[elephantman]

Ten billion euro

[domhnallj]

he should pay you?

i have no idea why anyone needs a best man anyway.

[elephantman]

he should pay you?

i have no idea why anyone needs a best man anyway.

Haha, fully agreed but I have to give him something.

Thinking in the region of 500 - 1000 euros.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated..

[Oldschool]

The bestnan's function is to ensure that the groom shows up for the wedding.
Failure to do this results in the bestman having to marry the bride himself.
As for a present it's all about affordability.
If you are a naturally generous type then get advice.
If not your natural instincts will guide you.

[blockhead]

About a months wages.
Or is that for the engagement ring?
Anyways, its critical that you get it right, best of luck.

[fourthirtythree]

Month's wages is the ring, it's so she can leave you quickly if you are an arsehole.

I gave token presents, when I was best man, and received a token when I got married: the best man has jobs to do, they are usually the single one in the group, and communication is crucial: ask straight up. Frankly, always ask people what they actually want.

You may be required to make a speech, sort out some issues on the day, introduce people and try to remember groups and smooth over stuff, stay pretty sober most of the time, and not shag a bridesmaid until the couple have departed, but you may not be expected to hand over cash. Usually the best man is the younger brother, or the single one in the mates, or just the best mate. None of these roles carry a cash obligation.

[blockhead]

And if she's an arsehole, get that ring back and save it for Miss Right.

[fourthirtythree]

Yeah well it was in the old days when women's property became their husband's on marriage bar chattels. It's why gold is so important in many cultures: fungible and portable. These days property is in common and of the man has more cash to buy a ring that's the dividend of patriarchy.

Pony up.

[The Doc]

Haha, fully agreed but I have to give him something.

Thinking in the region of 500 - 1000 euros.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated..

I'd think the low end of that is still pretty decent - even for a good friend.

One option you could offer your friend - why don't you say you'll look after all the cash expenses on the day (you'll need to anyway - but offer to pay for them as your present). So if a Church wedding there'll be tips / payments for the priest and helpers, organist - tips for staff at hotel - wedding car driver. There's a lot of that. And rather than him giving you a load of cash in the morning you could offer that.

Another similar thing would be to offer to cover (or partially cover) the photographer - as a way of both reducing the cost of the wedding but also gives them something permanent. Be careful on this one - check the cost first.

[domhnallj]

The ring business is a mystery also - apparently a diamond company invented it and it caught on (diamonds being a girls best friend and all that). I heard on the radio a while back (Tubridy or D'Arcy - cant distinguish between them) that men are now taking to wearing engagement rings - there was lots of hand ringing about what to do. I recommend doing what the Germans and Austrians do - wear the wedding band on your left hand ring finger during the engagement and then switch to the right hand ring finger at the wedding.

[The Doc]

The ring business is a mystery also - apparently a diamond company invented it and it caught on (diamonds being a girls best friend and all that)....

Yup - DeBeers

[Logorrhea]

Thinking in the region of 500 - 1000 euros.

I'd think the low end of that is still pretty decent - even for a good friend.

Agreed. You have jobs to do on the day, some of which are really important. Do them well and it'll be a very powerful gift in itself. For a cash gift €500 would seem to be more than enough.

[LeRouxIsPHat]

stay pretty sober most of the time,

I did my very best not to do this in order to take the edge off the speech but couldn't even get mildly tipsy for some reason.

As regards the present, I'd try and judge what you'll be getting in return. It wouldn't be great if you give them a grand and get some scratch cards in return.

[elephantman]

Thanks very much for everybody who took the time to respond. Even the lads who took the piss

Very much appreciated.

[R-Dog]

Never heard of the need for the Best man to Pony up anything like €500 -1000!

Did it myself a few years back and think all I gave was a present worth €175 aprox. At the time (Still now) I would give €100 as standard at any wedding.

Had to organise the Stag (you always end up a bit out of pocket here when booking things etc. )
Wedding was a Friday with a rehearsal on the Thursday and bbq day after. Groom cover my room night of the wedding but had to pay for other 2 nights myself and take 3 days off work.

(Groom was UK based so was busy for the week before collecting suits etc. )

[Oldschool]

About a months wages.
Or is that for the engagement ring?
Anyways, its critical that you get it right, best of luck.

Engagement ring ah god be with the good old days when you'd get away with a lot less.
Most woman had sense back then and had their priorities right. Men had balls back then too mind you.
Cue the indefensible being defended.
Hey before you do don't forget I'm always trying to take the p!ss.

[Oldschool]

Month's wages is the ring, it's so she can leave you quickly if you are an arsehole.

I gave token presents, when I was best man, and received a token when I got married: the best man has jobs to do, they are usually the single one in the group, and communication is crucial: ask straight up. Frankly, always ask people what they actually want.

You may be required to make a speech, sort out some issues on the day, introduce people and try to remember groups and smooth over stuff, stay pretty sober most of the time, and not shag a bridesmaid until the couple have departed, but you may not be expected to hand over cash. Usually the best man is the younger brother, or the single one in the mates, or just the best mate. None of these roles carry a cash obligation.

Back in the day best man bought rounds of drinks.
If the best man is the brother of the groom then just talk to each other.

[Oldschool]

Thanks very much for everybody who took the time to respond. Even the lads who took the piss

Very much appreciated.

I'm telling yah mate. If the groom is a no show I'd have the Harley handy. Her dad will have a shot gun in the boot.
And here's all ye thinking that the shot gun was for a different reason.