by CiaranIrl » May 19th, 2017, 1:43 pm
I tend not to be offended by Cummisky's stuff because I usually can't understand what he's trying to say. He's command of English is appalling.
If some leaving cert student submitted the following opening paragraph, they would get a D at best. It's full on gibberish...
"Wayne Pivac is a rare gem; a quotable Kiwi. Fed starving rugby reporters at the recent “Guinness” Pro12 awards, he did. The Aucklander successfully coached Fiji once upon a time before the lure of family and home guided him to North Harbour. Didn’t work out as All Black legends Craig Dowd and Jeff Wilson filled the breach (they didn’t last much longer with Wilson doing his best Tom McGurk impression on New Zealand TV nowadays). The Auckland gig came back around in 2011 after Ulster hired Mark Anscombe. Of course coaching jobs never last with Anscombe, aka Cowboy, eventually released by the biennial Ulster pressure valve. He’s currently helming the good ship Canada. Anyway, in 2014 Pivac was recruited as Simon Easterby’s assistant in Llanelli. When the IRFU offered Easterby the forwards role under Joe Schmidt, Pivac found himself in charge of the Scarlets. Trick to surviving any merry-go-round is a vice grip. Pivac understands as much. This is season three for the former beat copper."
“As you all know first prize is a Cadillac El Dorado. Anyone wanna see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired.”