Mirror on holiers in Oz.

[Oldschool]

PA in Brisbane Airport.
"Paging The Mirror, please pick up a curtesy phone"
Mirror, where the eff are you.
Jaysus Joe, I'm on my effin' holiers.
Not anymore sunshine.
Don't tell me, Sexton is injured and you don't know whether to ask Joey to start or Ross.
How did you guess?
I know everything Joe.
You mean you know all about Joey going to Munster, gulp?
And there's mire, Joe, lot's mire.
I presume you meant more, Miirror, like in the American ads.
No Joe, I meant mire and you're in it.
FFS Mirror, what am I going to do?
A series win should sort it, Joe. A whitewash and the halo will be fully restored..

[Oldschool]

WhatsApp to Joe.
WhatsApp to Joe Mirror calling.
"You have not reached the it's not Joe Schmidt WhatsApp message answering."
"Joe does not have a WhatsApp account etc etc"
F*cking hell.
Phone ringing again.
Hello Joe?
"You have reached the voicemail of Joe Schmidt, please leave a message."
"If the matter is urgent you can contact Joe on his WhatsApp account 'notJoe Schmidt'".
FFS just as well I have Mirrorcom tech available.
I feel sorry for the average punter.
Hello Joe, how's she cutting?
Ah Mirror I wasn't expecting to hear from you.
Well Joe, Iet me put it like this, I've got your number, so if you want to shake the Mirror off you'll have to try a lot harder. A bit like today in Melbourne.

[Oldschool]

Hi Joe,
So Mirror have you come up with anything we can use against the Aussies next weekend.
Yeah Joe but it's a new work on.
You may not have realised it at the time, Joe,but I think your post match interview is gold dust and I quote.

Robson: "Joe were you frustrated not to score more?"
Joe: "Ahh, well, I think maybe their penalty count was double ours and our yellow card count was double theirs."

Have to say you've lost me, Mirror.
Joe, it's right there in your answer.
You hit the nail slap bang on the head.
I'm still not seeing it Mirror.
It's obvious Joe.
The team that gets the most YCs wins.

[Oldschool]

Well Joe you got lucky there.
Australia and Falau in particular, he's even been cited, did everything in their power to double up on YCs but just couldn't pull it off in the end.
Speaking of luck, that's a bit of a work on.
How do you mean Mirror?
Enjoy your holiers Joe and we'll talk about it when we get back.